While I was showering, the little voices in my head were saying, “Soap up those tits more! Keep soaping those knockers!” Then I realized I never turned off Skype.
Meh Thoughts
-
My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of
My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of sex from the man with the world’s smallest penis. She didn’t know she had it in her.
-
The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra
The concierge looked at me funny when I asked to get extra coffee and lotion delivered to my room, but, hey, I may be on vacation, but my penis isn’t!
-
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out would be how not to cum on my own face when I masturbate.
-
Mr. and Mrs. Wood-Johnson sure dodged a bullet when they named
Mr. and Mrs. Wood-Johnson sure dodged a bullet when they named their son Robert instead of Richard.
-
Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off?
Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off? The toughest part is figuring out which sock puppet gets to do the deed.
-
My wife told me for her birthday, she wanted to have a threesome
My wife told me for her birthday, she wanted to have a threesome so she could experience a really big dick. Unfortunately, Simon Cowell is busy that night.
-
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m still not canceling the bird orgy.
