Meh Thoughts

There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob,

There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob, but I’d argue that the one your buddy gets from your sister while you’re waiting in the next room isn’t all that great for YOU.
I’m gonna get a realistic tattoo of a huge penis on my right

I’m gonna get a realistic tattoo of a huge penis on my right forearm. Then when I do that drunken trick where I open my zipper and stick my arm through it, people will totally freak the fuck OUT.
When the only tool you have is a penis, everything starts to

When the only tool you have is a penis, everything starts to look like a vagina.
I’m not saying humor turns me on. I’m just saying that my chair

I’m not saying humor turns me on. I’m just saying that my chair turns into a Slip-‘n’-Slide after reading a good HumorLabs issue.
Although I’d totally misunderstood the term “glory hole,” after

Although I’d totally misunderstood the term “glory hole,” after I dropped to my knees and prayed with all my might, my exact wish showed up in the little hole! Truly, the lord is great!
I started a new meme on Facebook: Enter the first two and last

I started a new meme on Facebook: Enter the first two and last two letters of your last name to uncover your “Alec Baldwin name.” No matter what you enter, the translation results in “FUCK YOU, *THAT’S* MY NAME.”
Sometimes the difference between a good Rumination and a bad one

Sometimes the difference between a good Rumination and a bad one is a flash of tits to the editor.
“HOLY MACKEREL!” I exclaimed as I finally came. I never imagined

“HOLY MACKEREL!” I exclaimed as I finally came. I never imagined how great the sensation would be when fucking a pierced fish corpse.
The Discovery Channel is doing specials about paranormal

The Discovery Channel is doing specials about paranormal phenomena that some people swear exist yet science has been unable to confirm. They did a show about UFOs and another about Bigfoot. Tomorrow they’re doing one on the clitoris.
My girlfriend’s favorite sexual thing is reverse cowgirl. First

My girlfriend’s favorite sexual thing is reverse cowgirl. First she farts repeatedly, then she eats beans from a can by the campfire.

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