Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

You know what’s a stupid color? Orange. It’s like red and yellow

You know what’s a stupid color? Orange. It’s like red and yellow had a deformed little abortion. Fuck you, orange.

It’s daylight savings time! Don’t forget to not shut the fuck up

It’s daylight savings time! Don’t forget to not shut the fuck up about how the time change has really “thrown you off” for the next 2 weeks!

Don’t believe that lying sack of shit, George Foreman! My

Don’t believe that lying sack of shit, George Foreman! My brilliant invention got rejected without a second thought. Now the world will never know the wonder that is Bukkake Goggles™.

I understand. You’re making a bullshit argument because over

I understand. You’re making a bullshit argument because over there in bullshit land, the bullshit trees only produce bullshit fruit.

TSA should create a position where the only responsibility is

TSA should create a position where the only responsibility is telling college kids who sleep on the floor by a gate that they’re fucking slobs.

(B0nrMunky) There should be a horse at the Kentucky Derby named,

(B0nrMunky) There should be a horse at the Kentucky Derby named, “Your Wife Looks Like A Stuck Up Cunt In That Hat.”

I can’t believe how spicy this peppered Italian salami is! I

I can’t believe how spicy this peppered Italian salami is! I could only get it halfway up my ass before I gave up.

Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and

Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and get out of jury duty and I don’t wanna sound stupid.

Hi kids. In case you’re wondering what it’s like to be an adult,

Hi kids. In case you’re wondering what it’s like to be an adult, my mom called and yelled at me for typing “fuck” on the Internet. I’m 38.

If you’re walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the

If you’re walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog has already won.

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