HTHDIKWJWD: How the hell do I know what Jesus would do???
Meh Thoughts
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He had me at “Turn it over and pop your hood.”
He had me at “Turn it over and pop your hood.”
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My wife told me: “I need you like the desert needs the rain…
My wife told me: “I need you like the desert needs the rain… once, maybe twice a year, for no more than twenty minutes.”
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Technically, I *am* in touch with reality.
Technically, I *am* in touch with reality. Getting body-slammed is a form of touching.
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I really wish I could spend time alone with my son without my ex-wife hovering above us.
I really wish I could spend time alone with my son without my ex-wife hovering above us. Maybe things will improve in a few months when she finally gives birth.
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Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Two wrongs don’t make a right. But 1.84 wrongs squared, plus a slurred “maybe, butonlycuzI’mdrunk” do.
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At my therapist’s suggestion, I took up painting to try to work through some homicidal
At my therapist’s suggestion, I took up painting to try to work through some homicidal thoughts I’ve been having. If I ever become a famous artist like Picasso, I guess this will be known as my “Douchebag in Wool Cap With Slashed Throat” period.
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So what should we avoid the plague like?
So what should we avoid the plague like?
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I cried when my grandparents danced at my sister’s wedding.
I cried when my grandparents danced at my sister’s wedding. Because seeing that made me realize they might live long enough to dance at mine.
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If frequent peeing were an Olympic sport, I’d definitely take the gold.
If frequent peeing were an Olympic sport, I’d definitely take the gold. But then I’d miss the medal ceremony cause I’d be in the bathroom.
