Probability that Van Morrison titled the song “Brown Eyed Girl” because he couldn’t remember her name: 67%.
Meh Thoughts
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I’d have to think giving a woman “nine ladies dancing” and “eight maids a milking” would
I’d have to think giving a woman “nine ladies dancing” and “eight maids a milking” would only impress her if she’s a lesbian with a serious multiple-partner fetish.
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I’m not sure why celebrities cheating on their spouses is newsworthy.
I’m not sure why celebrities cheating on their spouses is newsworthy. A guy at work cheated on his wife and the only reason it made the news at all was because she apparently sucks at hiding bodies.
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Sure, the early bird gets the worm, but the early fish gets both the worm AND the hook.
Sure, the early bird gets the worm, but the early fish gets both the worm AND the hook.
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After four hours of running through ankle-deep snow in shower shoes, pants belted to my
After four hours of running through ankle-deep snow in shower shoes, pants belted to my forehead like a denim hat, and playing “Do You Believe In Magic?” on the kazoo, a fellow masher sledded over and broke the news to me that it’s not called the “Idiotarod.”
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When my 7-year-old daughter opened her only Christmas gift and found two baby teeth
When my 7-year-old daughter opened her only Christmas gift and found two baby teeth inside, she ran upstairs bawling. Funny, that’s *all* she raved about wanting last year.
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I cried because I had no tap shoes, until I met a man with no JAZZ HANDS!
I cried because I had no tap shoes, until I met a man with no JAZZ HANDS!
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I’m not one of those guys who could ever live in his parents’ basement.
I’m not one of those guys who could ever live in his parents’ basement. I mean, not unless they, like, built one.
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Christmas is NOT the most wonderful time of the year; it’s the time of year when
Christmas is NOT the most wonderful time of the year; it’s the time of year when millions of people cut down perfectly good evergreens and shove them up angels’ asses.
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An important benefit of miniaturization in computer technology is that even people with
An important benefit of miniaturization in computer technology is that even people with limited physical strength can now throw a computer out a window.
