My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is when some housewife naively asks me to make sure that the carpet matches the drapes.
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What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination?
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination? Fuck me if I know!
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Those taking the similes quiz at home will remember we asked you
Those taking the similes quiz at home will remember we asked you to finish the following: a) As old as _____. b) As heavy as _____. c) As cold as _____. The correct answers are as follows: a) shit. b) shit. c) fuck.
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— I don’t know what came over me
— I don’t know what came over me.
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I awoke all sticky after falling asleep on the set of an animal
I awoke all sticky after falling asleep on the set of an animal porn film. It’s something I don’t normally do
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“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better
“You have nothing to lose but inches!” certainly worked better with girdle sales than it does with penis enhancement products.
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I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
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I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because
I’m having an affair with a married woman, but it’s okay because she and her husband have an arrangement: I come over every Monday night and have sex with her so he can watch the game.
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Hooters must not pay much. The women working there can’t afford
Hooters must not pay much. The women working there can’t afford to buy shorts that fit or shirts that aren’t ripped — or even soap to wash off the skank every night when they’re done.
