COVID, AIDS, and the Flu walk into a bar.
The bartender takes one look at them and says, “What is this, some kind of sick joke?”
Meh Thoughts
-
Pandemic Punchline: A Sick Joke?
-
Cheese Wheel Tragedy: A Wedding Day Disaster
A wedding photographer was today tragically crushed by a 200lb wheel of cheese that fell off the catering truck.
The guests all tried to warn him. -
Stop Visiting Those Painful Places!
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places. -
Truth or Trouble: The Dress Dilemma
“Does this dress make me look fat?”
“Promise not to be mad, whatever I say?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I fucked your sister.” -
A Weighty Memory: Words That Stick
Tell your wife she looks great 100 times and she won’t remember. Tell her once that she needs to lose weight and she’ll remember forever.
Because an elephant never forgets. -
Size Matters: Love, Laughter, and Wardrobe Woes
You know how your girlfriend is getting fat?
She fits your wife’s clothes. -
Water Woes: A Card for Kindness
My neighbor told me he couldn’t pay his water bill.
I sent him a “Get well soon” card. -
Listening: The Key to Conversation Survival!
My wife screamed: ‘You haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?’
What a weird way to start a conversation! -
Unremovable Bra: The Ultimate Booby Trap!
What do you call a bra that you can’t take off?
A booby trap. -
Seven Sins and a Sour Confession
A gorgeous blonde goes into confession. “My boyfriend made love to me seven times last night”, she told the priest.
“Drink the juice of seven lemons”, said the priest.
“Will that absolve me of my sins?” she asked.
“No, but it’ll wipe that smile off your face.”
