Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Perfect for Fixing a Hot Dog

    Did you know that if your dog is running a fever, you’re supposed to give them ketchup?

    Apparently it’s perfect for fixing a hot dog!

  • One Word or Spread Apart

    Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?

  • All of the Letters I Had Hidden

    My wife accused me of cheating after she found all of the letters I had hidden.

    Now she refuses to play Scrabble with me.

  • Mrs Fire

    I really miss Robin Williams. He was a legend!

    Without a doubt my favorite movie of his was “Mrs Fire.”

  • Being a Literalist

    Being a literalist can sometimes be very helpful.

    I can always respond to “Do these jeans make my ass look fat?” with a confident and honest “No.”

    But I dread the day when she rephrases it as “Does my ass look fat in these jeans?”

  • Now This Is a Big Beautiful Penis

    At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”

    Then he pulled his pants back up and told me to get undressed.

  • He Was 0K

    A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, and everyone said he was crazy.

    It turns out that he was 0K.

  • It’s Pronounced Anally

    My doctor told me I’m at an age where I need a colonoscopy annually.

    I’m a bit worried. He’s a doctor and should know it’s pronounced anally.

  • Too Many Probing Questions

    Why do aliens make such bad therapists?

    They ask too many probing questions.

  • Had to Pop the Trunk

    I won a balloon elephant at the fair and it wouldn’t fit in the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk.

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