Tone: crude humor

Crude humor humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

(Phil Schwa) I always look at the positives, not the negatives.

(Phil Schwa) I always look at the positives, not the negatives. Today I’m grateful for the 99.9% of the time my anus knows the difference between a gas and another state of matter.
Nothing says “Good morning” like bleeding ‘rhoids

Nothing says “Good morning” like bleeding ‘rhoids.
I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some

I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some fun. I don’t, however, want to bang that bike-racing dude with one nut.
I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that

I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that faster-than-a-speeding-bullet part.
While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I

While I appreciate the tribe welcoming me into their fold, I knew I was in for a long night when they put me up in a wigwam with Splayed with Aching Clitoris.
Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do

Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do!
Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth

Money is tight everywhere, but there are some things are worth paying more for. For example, I got this DVD titled “Mothers I Guess I Probably Would Be Willing to Fuck If I Couldn’t Do Any Better And Was Really Drunk And Knew None of My Friends Would Ever Find Out About It.” Surprisingly, it was just awful. That’s the last time I buy porn at the dollar store.
You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job

You know you’re an over-sexed guy when you have to quit your job at Krispy Kreme ’cause you just can’t look at one more fucking hole.
I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled

I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled from the feces of the Asian Palm Civet.
I like my women like I like my fastballs: high and tight

I like my women like I like my fastballs: high and tight.