Tone: irreverent

Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The Huge Fish

    A priest hooks a huge fish. Helping him reel it in, a sailor says, “Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!”

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    “Hey, mind your language!” says the priest.

    Embarrassed, the sailor says, “Sorry, Father, but that’s what this fish is called. It’s a Fucker fish.” Accepting the explanation, the priest takes the fish back to church.

    “Look at this huge fucker,” says the priest, spotting the bishop.

    The bishop cleans the fish and brings it to the mother superior. “Could you cook this fucker for dinner tonight?”

    The mother superior says, “Wonderful, I’ll cook that fucker tonight. The Pope is coming for dinner!”

    The fish tastes great, and the Pope asks where they got it.

    “Well, I caught the fucker!” says the priest.

    “And I cleaned the fucker!” says the bishop.

    “And I cooked the fucker!” says the mother superior.

    The Pope stares at them, leans back, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table, pours himself a whiskey, and says, “You know what? You cunts are alright.”

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  • Well I’m Here Now

    A member of the KGB is walking along a production line in a factory and decides to ask a few questions of one of the workers.

    KGB: “Comrade, if you had a drink of vodka, could you still perform your appointed tasks?”

    The worker thinks a bit and replies, “Yes, I think so.”

    KGB: “Comrade, if you had five drinks of vodka, could you still perform your appointed tasks?”

    The worker again considers this a bit and again replies, “Yes, I think so.”

    KGB: “Comrade, if you had ten drinks of vodka, could you still perform your appointed tasks?”

    The worker answers quickly, “Well, I’m here now…”

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  • Discussing Unbalanced Population Growth

    When discussing the global effects of unbalanced population growth, let’s remember that for some people, bucket seats mean birth control.

  • Which Woman in the Bible Are You?

    I took the “Which woman in the Bible are you?” quiz. My result: “Some whore.”

  • I’d Rather Watch a Video of My Conception

    I think I’d rather watch a video of my conception than watch another debate.

  • The Road to Hell Is Paved

    The road to hell is paved. What more do you need to know?

  • Those Viagra Commercials Don’t Warn You

    Those Viagra commercials don’t warn you about the embarrassing effects the drug has on vestigial tails.

  • ’Twas the Night Before Christmas

    ’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring due to the carbon monoxide being given off by the defective space heater.

  • World Kindness Day and International Day for Tolerance

    November 13th is World Kindness Day. November 16th is International Day for Tolerance. Trust me, you do NOT want to confuse them.

  • I’m Concerned About Syrian Refugees Being Sent to Alabama

    I’m concerned about the Syrian refugees being sent to Alabama. Haven’t these poor people suffered enough?