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Uncensored humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • One Shot of Tequila Won’t Hurt

    One Shot of Tequila Won’t Hurt

    “Fuck it, one shot of tequila won’t hurt”

    3 hours later:

    Man Kicked Out Of McDonalds For Putting His Dick In A Burger And Yelling “THIS IS REAL MEAT, YOU FUCKERS!”

  • I Fucking Loved That Cat

    I Fucking Loved That Cat

    My Chinese neighbours had waffles for breakfast.

    Bastards I fucking loved that cat.

  • My Cousin Walter’s Pet Problem

    A few months ago, my cousin Walter showed up at the emergency room with a cat lodged in his ass.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The family decided to write it off as a freak accident and agreed never to mention it again.

    But a few days later, he was back in the hospital! Different cat. Same ass.

    So yesterday, when I saw Walter at the pet store in the mall trying to buy another cat, I stopped him and said:

    “Walter, every cat you buy ends up stuck in your ass. At this point, you have to admit the cats aren’t the problem.”

    Walter sighed and replied:

    “Okay, genius. How the hell do you suggest I get the gerbil out?”

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  • Superman’s Superspeed Rooftop Encounter

    Superman is flying over Metropolis on a hot summer day, coming home from a mission.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Suddenly in the distance he sees Wonder Woman sunbathing on a rooftop, completely nude. Superman thinks: “Man, she is so hot. I can fly down, fuck her with superspeed, and be back home with Lois in a few seconds without anyone noticing.”

    So he speeds down there, does as planned and Wonder Woman only feels a rapid gush of wind and the building shaking.

    “What on earth was that”, she stumbles.

    The Invisible Man replies: “Fuck, I have no idea, but my ass suddenly hurts like hell!”

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  • Ants in Your Pants

    What’s worse than ants in your pants?

    Uncles.

  • A Corvette and a Dead Hooker

    What’s the difference between a Corvette and a dead hooker?

    I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

  • Dead Baby in a Clown Suit

    What’s funnier than a dead baby?

    A dead baby in a clown suit.

  • The Difference Between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson

    What was the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

    Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucked kids.

  • They Finished Your Mom’s Dildo

    They Finished Your Mom’s Dildo

    They finished your mom’s dildo.

  • Sick Duck

    Sick Duck

    What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One’s a sick duck and I can’t remember how it ends, but your mother’s a whore.