Tone: crude humor

Crude humor humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I learned a new word today: “Sploogemaster.” Or was it

I learned a new word today: “Sploogemaster.” Or was it “Sploogemeister”? Either way, it totally got me kicked out of Chuck-E-Cheese.
I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those

I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those with two guys and one girl. It makes sense, given human nature: See, girls like variety while guys only like pussy.
When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you

When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you to spell the word “pungent,” make sure you’re not looking up from their vagina.
While I was showering, the little voices in my head were saying,

While I was showering, the little voices in my head were saying, “Soap up those tits more! Keep soaping those knockers!” Then I realized I never turned off Skype.
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out

I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out would be how not to cum on my own face when I masturbate.
I really don’t like being labeled as either liberal or

I really don’t like being labeled as either liberal or conservative. I just want to be labeled as huge-titted.
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m

I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m still not canceling the bird orgy.
When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t

When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t expecting him to tell me that he fucked my mom.
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what

Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.
I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the

I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the hero’s going to squirt on her bush or unload all over those big ol’ titties.