A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to find as many pictures of genitalia in the illustrations as you can.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I love eating chocolate chip cookie dough from the tube. My
I love eating chocolate chip cookie dough from the tube. My boyfriend loves licking it off my nipples. Win-win!
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To those guys who take a leak at the urinal hands-free, I have
To those guys who take a leak at the urinal hands-free, I have this to say: I *have* to hold mine to keep it from touching the urinal.
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My penis has a mind of its own. That’s usually not a big
My penis has a mind of its own. That’s usually not a big problem, but it can result in me getting some strange readings from fortune tellers.
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(Jilly G.) Hiccups are God’s way of saying, “You ain’t getting
(Jilly G.) Hiccups are God’s way of saying, “You ain’t getting head tonight.”
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My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like
My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like snakeskin boots so much and had nothing to do with that cool blowjob trick I do where I unhinge my jaw.
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I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my
I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my Cap’n Crunch vibrator.
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I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became
I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became positive, my right nut negative, and my johnson pointed to true north.
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Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses
Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses.
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Absinthe makes the schlong grow harder
Absinthe makes the schlong grow harder.
