law professor: you're currently failing your ethics class
me: *slides a $20 across the desk*
how about now
Tone: Clever
Clever humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
A Tree Falls in a Forest
[tree falls in forest]
[doesn’t make a sound]
GUY IN CAMOUFLAGE: What the—
TREE: oh shit I mean AHHH!!! -
Cheating Once a Month
If you cheat on ya girl once a month
that’s only 12/365 days…You still 97%
faithful. That’s an A+ -
A Toddler’s Promise
My 3 year old asked how long he had
to wait until he could stop listening to
me. I told him he had to listen to me for
the rest of his life. He looked me dead
in the eyes and said, “I’ll listen to you
for the rest of YOUR life.” Toddlers are
cold-blooded, man. -
When Someone Drinks Constantly
When someone
drinks constantly
they’re…
Addicted.
When someone
does drugs all the
time they’re…
Addicted.
What hit you in the
face last night??
Addicted. -
High-Paying Professions
“MEN TEND TO CHOOSE HIGH
PAYING PROFESSIONS – LIKE
DOCTOR, ENGINEER, CEO,
ETC.,
WHILE WOMEN NATURALLY GO
TOWARD LOWER PAYING
CAREERS –
LIKE FEMALE DOCTOR, FEMALE
ENGINEER, AND FEMALE CEO.”
