Witty Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

I Just Looked Next to the Potatoes

I was out to dinner and the waitress asked, “How did you find your steak, sir?”

I told her, “I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.”

Never trust a doorknob.

They’ll turn on you.

My father was an officer in the Army but he never showered.

He wanted to maintain his rank.

I asked the hot dog seller, “Can I get a jumbo sausage?”

He said, “Sure, won’t be long.”

I said, “In that case, can I have two?”

I finally worked up the courage to ask my blind coworker if she was currently seeing anyone.

She said, “No, but I have a boyfriend.”