Tone: witty

Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I highly doubt they’ll be able to find 12 other bipolar

I highly doubt they’ll be able to find 12 other bipolar anal-insertion fetishist
Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a

Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a vegan, I just wanted you to eat ME, dork.
My girlfriend is ridiculously sexy. In fact, she brought the

My girlfriend is ridiculously sexy. In fact, she brought the sexy back so far, I had to buy a DeLorean just to sleep with her.
I don’t know why men are always so interested in tits. On the

I don’t know why men are always so interested in tits. On the other hand, I don’t know why *I’m* so interested in them either. Ah, the mysteries of life.
After 10 years of marriage, my wife and I have a comfortable

After 10 years of marriage, my wife and I have a comfortable routine: I get sex after she goes on a shopping bender, then waits till I cum before informing me how much she spent.
I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I

I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I unexpectedly got a really fierce hard-on. Sure, it was kind of embarrassing, but at least I had somewhere to put the pineapple rings when I went for seconds at the buffet.
I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you

I went up to a gorgeous woman in a bar and said, “You know, you can’t spell ‘cunnilingus’ without ‘us.’” She made a fist and said, “And you can’t spell ‘blowjob’ without ‘ow’!”
Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you

Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.
Call me naive, but when a guy invited me to his place for “a

Call me naive, but when a guy invited me to his place for “a little scat,” I honestly thought there would be improvised jazz singing involved.
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response

I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.