Recently, a female sheriff’s deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosDelivery Style: anecdotal
Anecdotal joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Hit the Ball, Drag Walter
A man goes golfing every Sunday morning and is usually home in time for lunch. Until one Sunday when his wife found herself waiting well past noon with no sign of her elderly husband. She wrapped up his lunch and put it in the fridge to stay fresh, busying herself with chores and growing more anxious as the afternoon wore on.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
And Tigger?
Zack Riley @ColdHeart_Prj
My son asked me “Where does poo come from?” I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation. He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, “And Tigger?”
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Madison’s Lab Partner
you thought you were having a bad day, at least you’re not Madison’s lab partner…yikesssssss
Today in my bio lab we were doing check swabs and like checking them out under the microscope.. and cheek cells all look like fried eggs. & this girl was like ummm my don’t look anything like that and so the prof walked over and looked at hers and she goes well that’s because these aren’t cheek cells they’re sperm cells
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The Sperm Count
An 85-year-old man had to take a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave him a jar and said, “Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow.” The next day, the man returned to the office and handed him the jar, which was as clean and empty as the day before.
The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained,
“Well, doc, it’s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then my left, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left — nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then the teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too — first with both hands, then an armpit, she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees — but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep. None of us could get the jar open!”
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A lot of loud swearing sounds
I don’t know about trees, but when I was alone in the forest and I fell down, I made a lot of loud swearing sounds.
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Rose, What Was the Name of the Restaurant?
Two older gentlemen are chatting after dinner while their wives are in the kitchen.
“We had a lovely meal at that new restaurant in town the other night,” said one to the other.
“That’s nice,” said his friend. “What was the name of the restaurant?”
“Oh, what’s the name of the lovely scented flower that grows on a thorny plant?”
“Rose?” replied the friend.
“That’s it.” Then, turning toward the kitchen, the gentleman called out, “Rose, what was the name of the restaurant the other night?”
