Day after day, the same guy keeps taking my favorite parking space at work, so I keep keying the sides of his car. And each morning, he shows up again with it painted a new color and with a different license plate, just to confuse me. Ha! Try again, Einstein!
Delivery Style: anecdotal
Anecdotal joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
I Set My WiFi Password to 24446666668888888 – I Tell Them It’s 12345678
True story:
I set my wifi password to 24446666668888888. This way when somebody asks for my password I tell them it’s: 12345678 😂😂😂😂
-
Gotta Get Wisdom Teeth Out – Why? Gotta Make Room for More Dicks?
siouxchiefsouschef @legitwidget
overheard one kid at the Mall of America tell his friends he had to get his wisdom teeth out and his friend says “why? gotta make room for more dicks?” and wow insults have really come a long way since I was a kid
-
Banging This Hot Chick on Her Kitchen Table – Quick Try the Backdoor
I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open
She said “it’s my husband! Quick, try the backdoor!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don’t get offers like that every day.
-
The Classic Move
Me: *trying the ol’ yawn/reach-around-the-shoulder trick*
Other guy at urinal: hey
-
If a Woman Needs It, Should She Be Spanked?
If a Woman Needs It, Should She Be Spanked?
[Today’s question by Herman Merlin, 125 Broad St. New York 4, N. Y.]
MIGUEL MATOS, Brooklyn, counterman: “Why not? If they don’t know how to behave by the time they’re adults, they should be treated like children and spanked. That ought to make them grow up in a hurry. If it doesn’t at first, they’ll soon get the idea.”
FRANK DESIDERIO, Brooklyn, barber: “Yes, when they deserve it. As a barber, I’ve got a lot of faith in the hairbrush. I think there are certain cases when it is advisable. When it is, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t go right ahead and do it. I can’t knock the idea. In my business, a man sets a lot of store by the results he can get with a hairbrush properly applied.”
TEDDY GALLEI, Brooklyn, parking lot attendant: “You bet. It teaches them who’s boss. A lot of women tend to forget this is a man’s world and a lot of men who stepped down as boss of a family wish they hadn’t. Spanking might help get back some of the respect they lost.”
WILLIAM DAVIS, Brooklyn, toy factory owner: “Yes. Most of them have it coming to them anyway. If they don’t, it will remind them how well off they are. I subscribe to the theory that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
-
My First Time With a Condom
I recall my first time with a condom. I was 19 or so.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered, “No, this is my first time.”
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused, so she looked all around the store to see if it was empty.
It was empty. “Just a minute,” she said, and walked to the door and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. “Do these excite you?” she asked.
Well, I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head.
She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
“Well, come on,” she said. “We don’t have much time.”
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW — I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown.
“Did you put that condom on?” she asked.
I said, “I sure did,” and held up my thumb to show her!
-
Explaining AI
My daughter asked me to explain AI to her.
I said, “You know how Dad gives wrong answers confidently? It’s like that but faster.”
-
The Old Man and the Prostitute
A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ year old man walking past. She hadn’t had a customer in a while, so she whistles at him and says, “Hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?”
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos
