A doctor calls his patient and says, “I have some bad news and some very bad news.”
Delivery Style: buildup
Buildup joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Holy Water Fountain
Father Rick has lately gotten news that some of the Sisters had been naughty, and he decided to take action. He gathered the Nuns and made them line up in front of the church’s courtyard fountain of holy water.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
Password Rejected
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’ Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
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Frank Feldman
A man steps out onto the street and catches a taxi just as it’s going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
“Who?” the passenger asks.
“Frank Feldman,” the cabbie says. “He was a guy who did everything right, all the time. Like me coming along just when you needed a cab. Things like that always happened to Frank Feldman.”
“Well, nobody’s perfect,” the passenger says.
“Not Frank Feldman,” the cabbie replies. “He was a terrific athlete. He could’ve won a Grand Slam in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. And you should’ve heard him play piano. He was amazing.”
“Sounds like he was something special,” the passenger says.
“There’s more,” the cabbie continues. “He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everyone’s birthday. He knew all about wine — what to order, which fork to use. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street goes dark. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”
“Wow,” says the passenger, “what a guy.”
“And he always knew the fastest route through traffic,” the cabbie adds. “Not like me. I’m always getting stuck. But Frank never made a mistake. And he knew how to treat a woman. He’d never talk back, even if she was wrong. His clothes were always spotless, his shoes polished. The perfect man. Nobody could measure up to Frank Feldman.”
The passenger pauses, then asks, “So how did you meet him?”
The cabbie says, “I never did. He died… and I married his wife.”
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Nearly Met Jesus
Hiking in your 70s is a great way to meet people.
Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist… and nearly met Jesus!
