Delivery Style: buildup

Buildup joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Sandpaper Sally: A Rough Night Out!

    A man is having a terrible day. He’s broke and needs to get his mind off things. He goes to a brothel, hoping to clear his mind. Beautiful women are lined up waiting for his choice.

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    He talks to the madame and says, “I only have $10 to my name. Is there anyone who will fuck me?”

    The madame talks with some of the girls and heads to the back room. She comes back a while later.

    She tells him only one prostitute will sleep with him: Sandpaper Sally. She’s at the end of the hall.

    Nervously, he walks down the hall and enters the room. A woman who isn’t the worst-looking greets him. After warming him up a bit, she begins to fuck him. Her name held true. The man was so uncomfortable while fucking that he had to stop.

    He said, “I can’t do this. It’s too painful.”

    Sally says, “Hang on, I’ll be right back.” She leaves for the bathroom.

    The man is trying to recover. Sally comes back a little while later, and they go at it again. This time it was AMAZING. It was wet and soft. He came, and it was one of the best orgasms he has ever had.

    Astonished, he looks at Sandpaper Sally and asks, “What did you do in the bathroom?”

    She gives a small smile and says, “I picked off all of the scabs.”

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  • Overachieving Rooster’s Wild Barnyard Adventures

    A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes out and screws all 150 of the farmer’s hens.

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    The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore—he is worried.

    The next morning, not only is the rooster screwing the hens, but he is screwing the turkeys, ducks, and even the cow.

    Later, the farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead, and vultures circling overhead.

    The farmer runs out, looks down at the young rooster’s limp body, and says, “You deserved it, you horny bastard!”

    The young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, “Shhhh! They are about to land.”

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  • Order Up: Cheeseburger or Hand Job?

    A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:

    CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
    CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
    HAND JOB: $10.00

    He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.

    “Can I help you?” she asks.

    “I was wondering,” whispers the man, “are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”

    “Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”

    The man replies, “Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.”

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  • Coma Care: The Power of a Sponge!

    A woman is in the hospital in a coma, hooked up to all the monitors. One day, while the nurse was cleaning the wife, she noticed a blip of brain activity as she washed her nether region. The nurse scrambled to grab the doctor to show him.

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    The doctor ran the sponge over again: another blip. He was a little more vigorous, and a stronger series of blips appeared, but nothing brought back consciousness.

    The doctor rushed out, called the husband, and told him to rush over to the hospital. When the husband arrived, the doctor let him know there was some brain activity and said it might be a weird request, but oral may bring his wife back.

    The husband was flabbergasted, but after being reassured no one would interrupt, he went in and shut the blinds.

    The doctors and nurses gathered around the nurses’ station when, suddenly, alarm bells started going off. The doctor and nurse ran in to help and saw the husband sitting beside her.

    Doctor: “What happened?”

    Husband: “I think she choked.”

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  • Well, that didn’t work

    My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…

    I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.

    She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.

    After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”

  • Gorilla’s Night Out: A Barroom Surprise!

    A guy walks into a bar…

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    He orders a drink and then notices there’s a huge silverback gorilla chained up at the end of the bar, just sitting there and staring at the bartender. Confused, the guy surveys his surroundings, but everyone at the bar is just chatting away and acting normal.

    He nervously downs his drink and orders another. After finishing his second drink, he summons the courage to ask about the gorilla.

    The bartender says, “Watch this.”

    Then the bartender grabs a 2×4 from under the bar and whacks the gorilla over the head with all his might. The gorilla drops to its knees, unzips the bartender’s fly, and starts sucking his dick.

    The bartender turns to the guy and says, “This is awesome. You gotta try it.”

    The guy says, “Sure, but you don’t have to hit me so hard.”

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  • Legendary Size: Mr. Rutledge’s Final Surprise!

    Old Mr. Rutledge died peacefully in his sleep and was taken to the morgue.

    While fixing him up for the funeral, the mortician naturally got a look at the old dead man naked.

    He was so awestruck at the size of Rutledge’s penis that he called his assistant in.

    “Wow, good on you, Mr. Rutledge! That thing’s gotta be the size of a baseball bat!” the assistant commented.

    Later that night, the mortician commented to his wife, “I worked on the body of an old man today. I swear what he was packing was the size of a baseball bat!”

    His wife’s eyes widened and she said, “Mr. Rutledge died?”

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  • Biden’s Barn Blues: A Night Out

    Biden, Obama, and Trump get lost in the woods one night.

    They come across an old farm and knock on the door to ask if they can get shelter there overnight.

    The farmer answers the door and says yes, but he only has room in his house for two guests, so one of the guys will have to sleep in the barn.

    Biden offers to sleep in the barn, and everyone turns in for the night. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door. It was Biden standing there. Biden says, “I didn’t realize horses were in there. I’m allergic.”

    So the farmer lets Biden in and sends Obama to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on his door. It was Obama standing there. He said, “I can’t sleep out there. The smell from the pigs is making me nauseous.”

    So the farmer lets Obama in and sends Trump out to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door.

    It was the horse and the pigs standing there.

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