Sensitivity: Questionable

Questionable humor, jokes, memes, and questionable punchlines from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Three Pregnant Women

    A pregnant blonde, a pregnant brunette, and a pregnant redhead were in the waiting room of an obstetrician’s office.

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    The redhead said, “When my baby was conceived, I was on top, so I know I’m going to have a girl.”

    The brunette said, “When my baby was conceived, my husband was on top, so I know I’m going to have a boy.”

    The blonde burst into tears. When the other two asked her what’s wrong, she wailed, “I think I’m going to have puppies!”

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  • The Jacket On The Golf Course

    Two guys were playing a round of golf. As they finished one hole and headed for the next, one of them realized he’d left his jacket back at the previous one.

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    “Hang on a sec,” he said to his buddy. “I’ll just run back and get it.”

    As he approached the previous hole, he noticed two women about to tee off. Suddenly, he stopped, turned around, and headed back toward where his buddy was waiting.

    “Holy hell! That could have been awkward! That was my wife and mistress back there!”

    “Good Lord!” says his buddy. “That could have ended badly! No problem, I’ll run back and get it for you.”

    Like the first guy, he got halfway to the previous tee, turned around, and headed back.

    Reaching his buddy, he looked somewhat flustered and said, “Small world, isn’t it?”

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  • The Annual Checkup

    When an elderly couple went in for their annual checkup, the wife stayed in the waiting room while her husband went in to be examined. The doctor, kibitzing with him, said, “Sam, how is your sex life?”

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    “I’ll tell you the truth,” replied Sam. “The first time is great. But the second time I start to sweat something terrible.”

    The doctor said, “Just a second. The second time? At your age? At eighty-five? That’s remarkable.” He excused himself and went out to Sam’s wife in the waiting room.

    “Ma’am, I have to ask you this. I was asking your husband how his sex life is, and he said the first time was great, but the second time he starts to sweat something terrible.”

    “He wouldn’t lie to you,” responded the old woman. “In January, it’s cold. In July, it’s hot.”

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  • The Pianist At The Party

    A man at a party was impressed by the pianist. He went up to him after everyone was leaving and asked if he would play at his own gathering the next weekend. The pianist obliged.

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    When he began playing at the man’s party, however, the pianist sounded much worse than the previous weekend. Sensing this was agitating his guests, the man pulled him aside.

    ‘What’s going on? You sounded so good last week, but this is terrible!’ the man exclaimed.

    ‘I’m really sorry,’ the pianist replied. ‘It’s just that I really need to go to the bathroom.’

    ‘For God’s sake, alright, go quickly, and when you get back try and play something everyone likes!’ the man said.

    About twenty minutes passed, and the pianist returned. He sat down at the piano and cracked his knuckles. Everyone at the party turned to look at him.

    ‘Any requests?’ the pianist asked.

    One of the guests raised his hand.

    ‘Do you know you have shit-stained toilet paper hanging out the back of your trousers?’

    ‘No…’ the pianist replied, ‘but if you hum it, I’ll give it a go!’

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  • My big fantasy is being a pizza delivery boy making a delivery to a mansion where a porn

    My big fantasy is being a pizza delivery boy making a delivery to a mansion where a porn film is being shot and arriving at the location at precisely the same moment as the actor playing the role of the pizza-delivery boy.

  • I cried because I had no shoes.

    I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man in an Amsterdam brothel with a diaper on and a rubber chicken on his head, who was the victim of a botched sex-change operation in a Tijuana prison. That pretty much shut me up.

  • I just read that the saline in breast implants is recycled.

    I just read that the saline in breast implants is recycled. I wear contact lenses, so if this report is true, it means my sex life may actually be a lot better than I thought.

  • Until HR helped me clear things up, I had always assumed the sexual harassment clock

    Until HR helped me clear things up, I had always assumed the sexual harassment clock didn’t start until *after* the job interview.

  • Visiting a bordello builds character and toughness.

    Visiting a bordello builds character and toughness. I say this thinking of the advice my friend gave me: “If you fall off a whore, get right back on.” Oh, and quickly too, or you’ll have to pay again.

  • Men always think that women’s locker rooms are filled with hot, naked women oiling each

    Men always think that women’s locker rooms are filled with hot, naked women oiling each other up, having sex in the hot tub and getting into pillow fights. That’s a ridiculous notion! Why would there be pillows in a locker room?