Delivery Style: storytelling

Storytelling joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Everything Is Big in Texas

    A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!”

    “Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop.

    The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow, these drinks are big!”

    The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”

    After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender.

    The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush! Don’t flush!”

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  • It’s Usually the Mother, Not the Father

    My wife was in labor when the nurse said it was time to push.

    She gave it everything she had until a fart, which from the sound and stench had obviously followed through, escaped.

    She was mortified.

    “Don’t worry,” I said, patting her head. “I’ve heard this kind of thing is perfectly natural during birth. Isn’t that right, nurse?”

    “Yes,” said the nurse, gagging, “but it’s usually the mother, not the father!”

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  • Not Much These Days

    A clown walks into a bar.

    His demeanor is awful. He asks the bartender for a shot, but says he won’t be able to pay for it.

    The bartender takes one look at him and decides he needs it.

    “Sure, buddy. You look awful. Wanna talk about it?”

    The clown downs the shot and says, “My God. Today is the worst day of my life. I’m in town for a comedy show, but my joke gopher was stolen, the show was canceled, my hotel reservation was canceled because of the show, and my bank accounts have been frozen!”

    He slumps in his seat and shakes his head.

    The bartender pours him another shot.

    “Wow, that’s a really awful day. I’m sorry, but what’s a joke gopher?”

    The clown shakes his head again.

    “Not much these days, or I wouldn’t be begging for drinks.”

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  • Rose, What Was the Name of the Restaurant?

    Two older gentlemen are chatting after dinner while their wives are in the kitchen.

    “We had a lovely meal at that new restaurant in town the other night,” said one to the other.

    “That’s nice,” said his friend. “What was the name of the restaurant?”

    “Oh, what’s the name of the lovely scented flower that grows on a thorny plant?”

    “Rose?” replied the friend.

    “That’s it.” Then, turning toward the kitchen, the gentleman called out, “Rose, what was the name of the restaurant the other night?”

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  • The Vegas Prostitute

    A man is walking the Las Vegas strip and runs into the most beautiful woman he has ever met. He starts talking to her, and to his luck, he finds out she is a prostitute. So he asks her,

    “How much for a hand job?”

    “$5,000,” she replies.

    “$5,000?? You must be nuts, no way.”

    “Walk with me,” she replies. He agrees and they walk for a moment, ending up in front of a restaurant. “You see this restaurant? I own this restaurant because men pay me $5,000 for hand jobs.”

    He ponders for a moment. “Damn, they must be pretty good then. Alright.” He brings her back to his hotel room, gets the hand job, and as advertised — it is the best hand job he has ever had. After he finishes, he realizes how perfect she is and asks, “Okay, that was awesome. How much for a blow job?”

    “$15,000,” she replies.

    “$15,000?!? You are out of your mind. No way!” he shouts.

    “Come to the window.” They walk to the window and she begins to point. “You see those three casinos? I own those casinos because men pay me $15,000 for blow jobs.”

    “Fine, how can I say no?”

    Once again, it is the best blow job of his life. He is writhing in ecstasy after finishing, and practically in love with this woman. “Okay, I am gonna regret this. How much for the pussy?”

    “Come to the window.” He follows her to the window, ready for anything. “Do you see all of Las Vegas?” she asks.

    “No way! You own all of Las Vegas?!” he exclaims, astounded.

    “No…” she looks down. “But I would if I had a pussy…”

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  • The Gynaecologist

    A beautiful, sassy lady got into a compartment where three men were seated. They were staring at her. She said if they gave one dollar each, she would show her legs.

    Immediately, three dollars fell onto her lap.

    She lifted her dress to her knees. Indeed, the legs were nice.

    Then she said, “Five dollars each, I’ll show my thighs.” Came fifteen dollars, and she lifted her dress high up till her panties.

    Then the bomb came.

    “Thirty dollars each, I will show where my gynaecologist operated on me.”

    Salivating, the three men gave the money.

    A station was nearing and the train slowed down. She showed the hospital next to the station — “This is where my gynaecologist operated on me” — and got off the train.

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  • Ugh! Again?!

    Ugh! Again?!

    Ugh! Again?!
  • Toddlers Are Cold-Blooded

    Toddlers Are Cold-Blooded

    Toddlers Are Cold-Blooded
  • Mr No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas

    Mr No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas

    Mr No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas

  • The Egg Timer

    This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. As I walked in, she turned to me and said, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!” My eyes lit up and I thought, “This is my lucky day!”

    Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn’t waste any time at all — I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!

    Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove.

    More than a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?”

    She giggled, “The egg timer’s broken.”

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