Surprise twist joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Several years ago the United States funded a study to determine why the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $180,000. The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.
A woman walks into her sex therapist’s office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and they never have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it. The therapist tells her that she has an experimental drug that might do the trick. She tells the woman to give her husband one pill that night and come back in the morning and tell her what happened.
A married couple have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there. Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts.
The newcomer is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tower to stand watch. Soon the couple on the ground are placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook supper. The second man yells down, “Hey, no screwing!”
They yell back, “We’re not screwing!”
A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again the second man yells down, “Hey, no screwing!”
Again they yell back, “We’re not screwing!”
Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to patch leaks. Once again the second man yells down, “Hey, I said no screwing!”
They yell back, “We’re not screwing!”
Eventually the shift is over and the second man climbs down from the tower to be replaced by the husband. He’s not even halfway up before the wife and her new friend are hard at it. The husband looks out from the tower and says, “Son-of-a-gun. From up here it DOES look like they’re screwing.”
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter’s swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, “Your daughter is pregnant.”
The mother turned red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex before marriage.
The doctor faced the window and silently looked out to the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed, “Quit looking out the window! Aren’t you paying attention to me?”
“Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma’am. It’s just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they’d show up again and confirm this very rare immaculate conception.”
I think, deep down inside, little children want to be told the truth about Santa Claus. Why else would they stand in line for an hour just to sit on my lap?
Two queers were enjoying a pleasant round of golf when a foursome of Hell’s Angels began hitting into them from behind. One queer finally becomes angry and turns to his partner,”If those big bad boys hit into us one more time, Seymour, you fall down and act like the ball hit you very very hard in the head. We’ll just sue those naughty boys.”
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked “What do you have under the newspaper, mister?”
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college, but, the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together.
