Life is like a box of popcorn: You really crave chocolate, but instead get something hard and salty rammed down your throat.
Joke Type: comparative
Comparative jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but it turns out that a
Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but it turns out that a $50 gift card toward a vajazzling ensemble does not a good anniversary present make.
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I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull
I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull rider, lasting 8 seconds would win me a lot of rodeo competitions.
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My wife finally got back at me for all those years of surprising
My wife finally got back at me for all those years of surprising her lingerie which was too small buy giving me a cock ring which was too big.
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I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those
I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those with two guys and one girl. It makes sense, given human nature: See, girls like variety while guys only like pussy.
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Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer
Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer table: mundane. A three-hole punch on an S&M; buffet table: nasty.
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The great thing about elves must be that Mrs. Claus can fuck 10
The great thing about elves must be that Mrs. Claus can fuck 10 or 12 of them before she finally gets tired.
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(Amy Peterson) You can assume the cantina’s hot sauce is going
(Amy Peterson) You can assume the cantina’s hot sauce is going to do a number on your sphincter when you hear Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” playing in the waiting area.
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Money may be the root of all evil, but guys with tiny dicks are
Money may be the root of all evil, but guys with tiny dicks are a pretty close second.
