My wet T-shirt contests are popular, but my wet underpants contests are becoming legendary.
Joke Type: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
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I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say
I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say “Bieber,” I mean “bagina.”
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I really enjoy writing my Ruminations while totally naked. But
I really enjoy writing my Ruminations while totally naked. But the manager at Burger King keeps telling me it’s a health code violation.
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Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to
Last time I was in Vegas, what I *asked* for was directions to the quarter slots. What I ended up with was a two-bit hooker.
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My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s
My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s getting anal tonight.” Unfortunately for him, I was referring to his mom’s meticulousness in the kitchen.
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I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my
I am no longer called a serial masturbator since I threw out my Cap’n Crunch vibrator.
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Evidently, some guys consider less-than-manly the idea of a man
Evidently, some guys consider less-than-manly the idea of a man making lunch for his wife before he leaves for work. At least that would explain the snickering when I told my co-workers that I tossed my wife’s salad this morning.
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All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of
All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of stuff in bed that she’s never been interested in before. Woohoo! I’ve been waiting forever for– hey, what the hell?!?
