A Hummer limo seem like a good idea for Prom since the two best things about Prom are right there in its name.
Joke Type: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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During my sermon last Sunday, there was lots of screaming,
During my sermon last Sunday, there was lots of screaming, shitting and masturbating. Last time I preach to monkeys at the zoo.
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Wait, the 70s are over? Shit, I’m REALLY late for high school.
Wait, the 70s are over? Shit, I’m REALLY late for high school. Like 36 years late. I’m gonna need a note.
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Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and
Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and get out of jury duty and I don’t wanna sound stupid.
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My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make
My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make our sex lives more exciting, so I asked her how many other guys she planned on having sex with while she’s married to me. Her reply: “Retroactively, or from this point forward?”
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My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I
My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I stuck a ball gag in her mouth and thoroughly spanked her ass. Turns out she just wanted a hot young rich guy.
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“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in
“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”
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My Shit Doesn’t Stink
The doctor asks the man, “What seems to be the problem, sir?”
The man says, “Well doc, this is gonna sound a little weird. I wasn’t even sure if I should come to you about it, but you know what they say, better safe than sorry!”
The doctor says, “I’ve heard everything there is. Out with it, man, what seems to be the problem?”
The man says, “Well doc, here’s the thing. My shit doesn’t stink anymore.”
“Your shit doesn’t stink anymore?” the doctor repeats back as a question.
“Yes sir. I noticed it a month ago in late April. I was sitting down for my regular morning shit. Everything went well — firm, good size, came right out nice and smooth — and that’s when I noticed. No smell! Not a damn thing! I’ve just been wondering if something might be wrong,” the man explains.
The doctor furrows his brow. “That is indeed puzzling, sir. It says here you’re not married. And you live alone?”
“Just me and my dog,” the man replies.
The doctor scribbles two prescriptions and hands them to the man. “Take one of each, once a day for two weeks and come back to me.”
The man comes back two weeks later. Now he’s angry. His face is red as he grumpily explains, “Doc, I don’t know what you gave me, but ooh boy does my shit stink! I think you might have made things worse! I’m gagging in the bathroom! I can barely stand to be in the room with my own stink now! What in the hell did you give me?”
The doctor replies, “Nasal decongestant and antihistamine.”
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Swallow
What bird doesn’t have kids?
Swallow.
