True fact:
Before the crowbar was invented…
…most crows drank at home.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Before the Crowbar Was Invented
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Started to See a Little
I said to my wife, “I want to marry another woman.” Just to see her reaction.
On the first day, I saw nothing. Then on the second day, I still saw nothing. On the third day, I started to see a little with my left eye.
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More Than Six
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well, I know it’s more than six because my basement is still dark.
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She’s Intuit
I convinced my wife to do a sexy role play with me where we pretend to be financial corporations.
She’s Intuit.
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To Beat the Crowd
Why do riot police go to work so early?
To beat the crowd.
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It Just Rolls Off the Tongue
My favourite word is drool.
It just rolls off the tongue.
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You Should Be Hung
I was sitting down having a beer watching my wife mow the lawn, and this old lady came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung!”
I shouted back, “I am… that’s why she mows the lawn!”
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Filled It With Spring Water
My ditzy neighbor bought a waterbed and said it was way more bouncy than he expected…
He said, “I’m guessing it’s because I filled it with spring water.”
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No Word Yet
My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out.
No word yet…
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Such a Small Organ
In bed with a priest, a nun said, “Father, I never expected you’d have such a small organ.”
He replied, “Why, Sister… I never expected to be playing in such a large cathedral.”
