I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Why don’t boxers have sex the night before their match?
Why don’t boxers have sex the night before their match? Because they hate each other.
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Neighbor Can’t Sleep at 2am
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2am this morning and said, “I can’t sleep.”
“Well it’s your lucky day,” I said. “We’ve got a party going on in here, come in.”
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Injured playing peekaboo
Last week, I was injured pretty badly playing a game of peekaboo. They had to put me in the ICU.
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A friend named his dog 5 miles
A friend of mine named his dog “5 miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles.
But today he ran over 5 miles.
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Doctors Orders Mean Burger King
My doctor just told me that I need to start eating at Burger King.
Well, he really said that I should not have McDonalds anymore, but I know what he means.
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Global Warming Icebreaker
If you are meeting a new group of people and don’t know what to talk about, try mentioning Global Warming.
It’s a huge Icebreaker.
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TGIF Shoes
Why did the blonde write TGIF on the insides of all of her shoes?
As a reminder: Toes go in first.
