The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their warmth and their inability to poke me in the ass with a boner.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical
I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical jokes about oral sex. You might say she has a good gag reflex.
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Rhyme for Statute of Limitations
The imagery and emotion in my poems has been inspired by my life as a solitary traveler — the long, lonely road, the ever-distant horizon, my yearning to return home. I just wish I could come up with a rhyme for “statute of limitations.”
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I still remember the day in English Second Language class when
I still remember the day in English Second Language class when we were asked to fill
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There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right
There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right decision to meet with your doctor about your sex addiction than your masturbating to the breast-self-exam pamphlet in the waiting room.
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At first I wanted my son to become the best golfer in the world
At first I wanted my son to become the best golfer in the world so he could become rich and respected. Now I want him to become the best golfer in the world so he can introduce me to some lusciously sweet hos.
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Neurosurgeon Girlfriend
I had to break up with my neurosurgeon girlfriend. She was messing with my head.
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Hemorrhoids vs Asteroids
The fact that “hemorrhoids” aren’t called “asteroids” is a major missed opportunity for science, health, and the English language.
