A guy tells his buddy, “I’ve had enough of my wife. Today I told her that what she’s wearing isn’t appropriate for gardening.”
“What happened?” his buddy asks. “Did she listen?”
And the guy says, “Nope. She’s digging in her heels.”
Meh Thoughts
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Until Someone Loses an I
I saw a group of kids throwing Scrabble tiles at each other.
It’s all fun and games until someone loses an I.
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Came Out of the Closet This Morning
Someone told me my clothes were gay.
I said, “Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning.”
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Man Wanted for Robbery
I was out on a walk when I saw a sign that said, “Man wanted for robbery.”
So I went in and applied for the job.
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There So Stupid
I hate it when people don’t know the difference between your and you’re.
There so stupid.
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A Ham-Brrr-Grrr
What do you call a pig that is cold and growling?
A Ham-Brrr-Grrr.
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But When I Do, There It Is
I don’t always whoomp.
But when I do, there it is.
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I Would Like to Do It Again
My wife hasn’t spoken to me in 3 days and I have no idea what I did.
Which is fucked up, because I would like to do it again.
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Painted It Black So It Would Run Faster
I just bought a new laptop and painted it black so it would run faster…
Instead, it just stopped working and stole all my data…
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She Really Means Well
My wife just yelled that I should “fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth filled with water and die.”
I know she really means well.
