Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Toast the bride and groom

    Two slices of bread got married.
    The wedding was amazing, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.

  • I can’t do anything about it

    The company I work for is knowingly making defective whistles.
    I can’t do anything about it.

  • I would appreciate it as a worm

    In my will, I’ve stated that I want my coffin to be made of aluminum foil and my body to be dipped in caramel and chocolate. I know that if I were someday reincarnated as a worm, I would appreciate it if someone had thought of that.

  • One of your snakes is digesting a rat

    The worst part about being Medusa wouldn’t be turning people to stone on sight, but rather the unavoidable bad-hair days when one of your snakes is digesting a rat.

  • Kicking ass in the America’s Cup

    A life-size Noah’s Ark is open to the public. I’m not sure if I believe the story about the ark kicking ass in the America’s Cup yacht races.

  • Eating kale chips but litters

    I saw an empty package of kale chips on the ground, and now I want to know what kind of crappy hippie insists on eating kale chips but litters.

  • Now they have cameras everywhere

    When I was young, you could go to the grocery store with two dollars in your pocket and come out with a loaf of bread, two dozen eggs, and a pound of butter.
    Now, they have cameras everywhere.

  • I turned a few heads

    I walked down the street dressed as a screwdriver.
    I turned a few heads.

  • Don’t let Kevin Bacon die

    Ever since Johnny Cash died, we’ve had no cash. Ever since Steve Jobs died, we’ve had no jobs. Please God, don’t let Kevin Bacon die.

  • How do you know it was on its way to work?

    I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me, “How do you know it was on its way to work?”

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