Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Tends to be yellower

    The rain falls upon the just and unjust alike, though the rain that falls upon the just tends to be yellower.

  • The 69th Wedding Anniversary

    The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary. Not only is the number appropriate, but you’re definitely not fucking anyone by then.

  • It’s really easy to quit

    I don’t know why people say, “It’s so hard to quit.” It’s really easy when it’s something you didn’t want to do in the first place.

  • The dog won

    If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog won.

  • Why Don’t Blind People Like to Skydive?

    Why don’t blind people like to skydive?

    Because it scares the dog.

  • I didn’t think it hurt that much

    I said to my wife, “They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience…”
    “Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn’t think it hurt that much.”

  • Parking fine

    A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I’d positioned my car correctly…
    It said, “Parking fine.” So that was nice.

  • A Ford Oar two-door

    Ford should make a coupe and call it the Oar.
    It’d be a Ford Oar two-door.

  • Those are just contractions

    A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
    “Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”

  • He gave me a blank stair

    When I told my contractor that I didn’t want any carpeted steps, he just gave me a blank stair.

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