Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

Leashes and Revolutions: A Punny Comparison!

What’s the difference between a dog leash and the French Revolution?
One is a reign of terror, the other is a rein of terrier.

Why don’t lesbians like being told what to do?
They don’t like mandates.

Delivering pizza in a small college town can lead to unanticipated embarrassment.

I really wasn’t expecting to see my English professor at the door. And then I had to figure out how much to tip him.

What do cannibals serve at the start of a party?
Handshakes.

My wife complained that I don’t treat her like I did when we were dating.
So I took her to dinner and dropper her off at her parent’s house.

The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.

I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but that failed.
She figured out I was only after my money.

Like my Grandad always says, go the extra mile in every job that you do.
Lovely man, terrible train driver

What’s black and always in the back of a police car?
The seats.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
A pilot, you racist!