When people call me a “fucking idiot,” I consider it a compliment. After all, it’s my life’s ambition to do nothing but fuck like an idiot all day long.
Meh Thoughts
-
I don’t think “It’s cumtastic!” was the compliment Sister Mary
I don’t think “It’s cumtastic!” was the compliment Sister Mary was looking for regarding her new cell phone.
-
To be perfectly honest, sometimes when I say I want to make
To be perfectly honest, sometimes when I say I want to make love, I really just want to fuck.
-
A fart is a wish your turd makes
A fart is a wish your turd makes.
-
I have a feeling that if a company ever marketed a product
I have a feeling that if a company ever marketed a product called “Bag o’ Titties,” guys would find a way to sneak one into the shopping cart.
-
I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,”
I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,” but it’s been a week now and my wife still hasn’t gotten her hearing back.
-
It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity
It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity raffle was literally a “liquor basket,” and didn’t have anything at all to do with the woman who sold me the ticket.
-
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a
My rules for a night of married sex are now the same rules for a family evening at home: Don’t block the TV and don’t wake me if I fall asleep.
-
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is
The thing I like best about being a professional carpet layer is when some housewife naively asks me to make sure that the carpet matches the drapes.
-
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination?
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination? Fuck me if I know!
