There’s a sucker born every minute, but there’s an asshole born every 30 seconds.
Meh Thoughts
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The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire
The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire people to fuck me, I can ask to re-interview them over and over.
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I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve
I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve sworn he screamed at me to get off ON his lawn.
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If you’re ever nauseous, you should put your head between your
If you’re ever nauseous, you should put your head between your knees and take deep breaths. Unless it’s your own ball stench that’s making you nauseous in the first place — then you should try something else.
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When the realtor told me the house was haunted, I wasn’t too
When the realtor told me the house was haunted, I wasn’t too worried. Either any residual spirits would be gone within the week, or they’d be into watching a guy whack off to chubby-chick porn six times a day, in which case they’re my kind of ghosts.
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I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns
I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns out I was at “poll” — not “pole” — headquarters.
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Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words:
Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words: “I’d hit that.”
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I guess I’ll just have to come to grips with the fact that, no
I guess I’ll just have to come to grips with the fact that, no matter how funny *I* think it is, my wife will never appreciate it when I let a few chocolate chips melt in my hand and ask her where the toilet paper is.
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I lost a bundle wagering on porn the other day. Take my advice
I lost a bundle wagering on porn the other day. Take my advice and don’t bet against the spread.
