Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and my girlfriend. I could’ve SWORN she said she wanted a squirrel necklace.
Meh Thoughts
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I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, but that’s only because he’s probably heard it his entire life and I don’t want him to feel bad.
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There is no “I” in “team,” but there are at least six eyes in a
There is no “I” in “team,” but there are at least six eyes in a Daisy Chain.
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My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t
My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t like to watch me eat Froot Loops and play video games, because that would pretty much cover my entire day.
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I like to tease my boyfriend by telling him I’m about to get
I like to tease my boyfriend by telling him I’m about to get hot, wet and naked. Dork thinks I’m taking a shower when I’m actually attending a giant lesbian orgy.
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Whew, thank goodness Week Without Showering is over! I was
Whew, thank goodness Week Without Showering is over! I was feeling pretty scummy. Not as scummy as Week Without Wiping, but still.
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My two favorite things to do with my penis are peeing and
My two favorite things to do with my penis are peeing and ladies. What are YOUR two favorite things to do with my penis?
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If I was in a Native American Porn, my name would be Girl With
If I was in a Native American Porn, my name would be Girl With No Gag Reflex.
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I hereby aver that if I ever steal somebody else’s filthy
I hereby aver that if I ever steal somebody else’s filthy Rumination, you can fuck me up the ass. I secondly aver that I don’t want to be fucked up the ass.
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Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that
Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that I’m with another woman. Then again, so does she.
