“Slowly Encroaching Chocolate” is a level on Candy Crush Saga. It’s also a pretty fair descriptor for the state of my underwear.
Meh Thoughts
-
Sure, I robbed that bank. I heard that cute bank teller fingered
Sure, I robbed that bank. I heard that cute bank teller fingered lots of suspects in the past.
-
I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me
I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me saying, “Not to be taken orally.”
-
(b0nrmunky) When I got exhausted keeping up with my girlfriend’s
(b0nrmunky) When I got exhausted keeping up with my girlfriend’s desire for sex, she suggested bringing other guys into the bedroom to help, and I agreed. The problem is that she goes through so many of them, I get exhausted just watching.
-
If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High
If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High school beatings only last four years, but I’d have decades of pussy.
-
I think getting Amanda Bynes alone would be the hard part.
I think getting Amanda Bynes alone would be the hard part. Convincing her my cock dispenses thorazine should be a piece of cake.
-
I fell asleep with the “calming nature rhythms” station on and
I fell asleep with the “calming nature rhythms” station on and woke in a cold sweat when humpback whales were about to fuck on top of me.
