Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller”

While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller” video in the middle of the zombie dance. My youngest son said, “I bet that’s what Michael looks like now.”

On the unrated DVD of “Home Alone,” Macaulay Culkin’s mom blows

On the unrated DVD of “Home Alone,” Macaulay Culkin’s mom blows John Candy and his polka buddies in exchange for a ride to Chicago.

She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for

She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for her Bada-bung next time.

Make it a “December To Remember” by keying “Buttfucker” into the

Make it a “December To Remember” by keying “Buttfucker” into the side of some stuffy old lady’s Lexus.

People are perfectly fine taking food in with friends & family,

People are perfectly fine taking food in with friends & family, but they get all uppity if I suggest we all have a shit together. Hypocrites.

Note to self: Don’t make a move unless you’ve heard the whole

Note to self: Don’t make a move unless you’ve heard the whole sentence. Imagine my embarrassment when everyone started shouting at me that she wasn’t inviting me to kiss her under the camel toe.

Hotel Tip – Every time you take a shit call down to the front

Hotel Tip – Every time you take a shit call down to the front desk and demand to be moved to another room because the one you have smells horrible.

Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes – for guys who get hungry

Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes – for guys who get hungry after they fuck.

I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’m pretty sure the people who

I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’m pretty sure the people who named it Dick’s knew what the word dick means.

A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue

A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue what it means so I just nodded my head and said I agreed his mom is a cunt.

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