When I saw the guy in the next car pick his nose and wipe it on the passenger seat headrest, I thought, “Man, he doesn’t care what the world thinks!” I kind of admire that. But I wouldn’t want to ride with him.
Meh Thoughts
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CB Lingo 201
I would think the hardest part of truck-driving school is CB Lingo 201. You know, the second year, where everything you say in class has to be in CB.
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Won’t be able to hide under the bed
If I ever get another cat, it’s going to be a big one, like a tiger or a panther. That way, if he ever gets upset and viciously scratches me across my face, the bastard won’t be able to hide under the bed.
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Bob Pope
The pope should change his name to Bob. Then he would be Bob Pope, and he could have charity golf tournaments and go around the world on tours with a star-studded cast as his entourage. It would certainly liven up his shows a bit.
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Came out of the closet
While the police are wrongly referring to it as an aborted attempt to rob a convenience store, I couldn’t be prouder that I finally came out of the closet with my pantyhose fetish.
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Check it off my list
If I ever get arrested for bouncing down my street naked on a pogo stick with a peacock feather in my ass, well, there’s something else I can check off my list of things to do before I die.
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A brick under the hood
Every time I lock my keys in the car, I’m thankful I had the uncommon foresight to keep a brick stashed under the hood.
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Now I want to break three
I was going through my old stuff when I broke two Queen records.
Now I want to break three. -
Aren’t going to work out
I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up…
Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.
