Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

Justice Is Blind

It’s good that justice is blind. I just wish she had a better sense of smell.

It’s true what they say: “If you don’t like the weather in New England, it’s because it freaking sucks. Why do we live here? Ooh, foliage!”

If Jesus were born today, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration would require a five-point safety harness in the manger.

March Madness used to mean basketball, not politics.

Three legs. To me, that’s an exotic dancer.

I took the “Which woman in the Bible are you?” quiz. My result: “Some whore.”

I was gonna plan a vacation in Great Britain, but money’s a little tight, so Pretty Good Britain it is.

Hey, sour teen wearing a hoodie and tiny miniskirt with knee socks combo: Have you considered that it’s your outfit making you unhappy?

Saw a headline: “Scandal Rocks Vatican.” If the Pope really wants to appeal to young people, he needs to get newer bands than that.

I got kicked out of my charades club for “gratuitous” nudity. But without disrobing and flopping, how would anybody have guessed “Elephant Man”?