My boyfriend and I play this little game where I sext him “Guess where my finger is now” and he guesses. It’s weird, though, how he never guesses “in the cat’s ass.”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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The great thing about being bisexual is that you can get revenge
The great thing about being bisexual is that you can get revenge on a woman who turns you down by telling her you were only hitting on her for a shot at blowing her nearby friend.
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I was shocked when my boyfriend told me he’d love to join me for
I was shocked when my boyfriend told me he’d love to join me for a spa day yesterday. Turns out he’d seen their advertisement promising extreme facials.
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It takes a lot of effort to inflate a new love doll, but it’s
It takes a lot of effort to inflate a new love doll, but it’s worth it. The look of wide-eyed, open-mouthed excitement when you introduce your two ladies to each other pretty much guarantees you a three-way sandwich.
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I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just
I’m not saying my girlfriend’s vibrator isn’t loud; I’m just saying her neighbor should know that helicopters can’t land on the roof because there’s no room up there.
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When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley
When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley riding jacket. When she said she liked watersports, I naively showed up with my snorkel. So today when she told me she had some shit to do around the house, I decided to stay away altogether, just in case.
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My boyfriend and I were frustrated because we never seem to be
My boyfriend and I were frustrated because we never seem to be on a vacant-enough flight to join the mile-high club, so instead we ate a handful of mushrooms and fucked. That still counts, right?
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Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous
Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous girlfriend asked me to organize a gangbang for her; now how the hell do I get all these Crips and Bloods out of my apartment?
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If I wrote Star Trek, the Prime Directive would be “Face down,
If I wrote Star Trek, the Prime Directive would be “Face down, ass up.” Maybe that’s why I don’t do well with Trekkers.
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Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and
Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and my girlfriend. I could’ve SWORN she said she wanted a squirrel necklace.
