Tone: absurd

Absurd jokes, weird logic, surreal memes, and nonsense that somehow files taxes from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

My girlfriend’s favorite sexual thing is reverse cowgirl. First

My girlfriend’s favorite sexual thing is reverse cowgirl. First she farts repeatedly, then she eats beans from a can by the campfire.
My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the

My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the penis-in-the-mouth part that so great, though — it’s the part where she doesn’t get mad at me for pretending that I’m Captain Kirk and she’s Mr. Spock.
I’m trying to select a penis-shaped cake for a friend. Which one

I’m trying to select a penis-shaped cake for a friend. Which one uses real gluten-free organic flour, Cockasaurus or Diggly Wiggler?
There was no way around it: The lump that appeared in my pants

There was no way around it: The lump that appeared in my pants was visible to everyone else in the meeting room. Thinking fast, I went “BAWK!”
If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a

If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a pocketed banana, why the hell should I be happy?
Judging from all the gagging and vomiting, I’m guessing the

Judging from all the gagging and vomiting, I’m guessing the other passengers had never seen somebody eat a bunch of melted Reese’s cups before. At least not out of a diaper.
When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning

When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning green, I started to panic. Then I realized I’d mistakenly purchased “Shrek” condoms.
I’ll bet that when Audrey Hepburn farted, it sounded like a

I’ll bet that when Audrey Hepburn farted, it sounded like a playful piccolo solo.
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my

None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my vestigial tail because now they think I’m a demon.
What if farts smelled like perfume and farting on someone was a

What if farts smelled like perfume and farting on someone was a way to show affection and– hey, where’re you going? Don’t you want your artisan sandwich?