Tone: absurd

Absurd jokes, weird logic, surreal memes, and nonsense that somehow files taxes from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I really hate people who give TMI. I hate them more than all the

I really hate people who give TMI. I hate them more than all the bloody underwear I’ve throw in the trash on account of my oozing hemorrhoids.
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for

Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for nipples. I must concede, however, that they would STILL be breasts.
I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became

I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became positive, my right nut negative, and my johnson pointed to true north.
Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses

Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses.
Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big

Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big point of telling me she likes really rough sex, then she gets all pissed off about my sandpaper condom invention.
Everybody keeps referencing Jilly G. in their filthy

Everybody keeps referencing Jilly G. in their filthy Ruminations, hoping to score some points so they might get to bone her on the off chance they ever meet in person. Not me, though — I’m far too busy sending love sonnets to Mila Kunis’ vajayjay.
If I had a nickel for every lava-lamp menorah I sold this

If I had a nickel for every lava-lamp menorah I sold this season, I wonder if that would be anywhere close to enough to pay to see Jilly G.’s tits?
hilarious submissions, so here we go… * * * *** * * * * * *

hilarious submissions, so here we go… * * * *** * * * * * * Did you catch that? I just farted in Braille!
Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off?

Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off? The toughest part is figuring out which sock puppet gets to do the deed.
When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally

When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally probed. I don’t remember what the alien looked like, though, because it disguised itself as my wrestling coach and forced me to drink a mind-control drug from a tequila bottle.