I was walking my dog when a lady asked if the shit pile on her lawn was mine and I got super offended because I haven’t shat on a lawn in weeks.
Tone: crude humor
Crude humor humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I call them “tissues” instead of “Kleenex” until one goes into
I call them “tissues” instead of “Kleenex” until one goes into the laundry, then they’re “fucking Kleenex.”
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Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes, for guys who get hungry
Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes, for guys who get hungry after they fuck.
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Grandpa nods his head, peering into the kitchen with a confident
Grandpa nods his head, peering into the kitchen with a confident smile: “See your grandma over there, kid? Yeah, I fucked her.”
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Hotel Tip – Every time you take a shit call down to the front
Hotel Tip – Every time you take a shit call down to the front desk and demand to be moved to another room because the one you have smells horrible.
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A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue
A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue what it means so I just nodded my head and said I agreed his mom is a cunt.
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I took all the money I saved not buying Valentine’s Day presents
I took all the money I saved not buying Valentine’s Day presents over the years and bought masturbation toys. Now I own a solid gold fuck stick.
