Good: Saying “hello” and getting a smile in return from the lovely maid who arrives as you leave your extended-stay hotel room for a quick bite to eat. Bad: Realizing 10 minutes later that you left your wank rag and hotel lotion on the night stand. Again.
Tone: darkly humorous
Darkly humorous humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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If you’re stranded at a cannibal commune and forced to eat a
If you’re stranded at a cannibal commune and forced to eat a penis butter and jelly sandwich, at least tell them you’d prefer they used creamy, not chunky.
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People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my
People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my latex barbed-wired crotchless panties one leg at a time, just like everyone else.
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My wife claims I’m callous and unsupportive. Apparently she
My wife claims I’m callous and unsupportive. Apparently she missed the chapter in “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” where the Martian phrase “I’m ready to listen” translates roughly, to, “What the fuck crawled up your butt?”
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Unless one is young, healthy and very spry, just how exactly
Unless one is young, healthy and very spry, just how exactly COULD one give a flying fuck?
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I saved some $5,000 in potential counseling bills trying to cure
I saved some $5,000 in potential counseling bills trying to cure my scat fetish, and all it took was having to change my twin nieces’ diapers over the holiday weekend.
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Apparently the entreaty, “But Honey, it was just *GAY* porn!”
Apparently the entreaty, “But Honey, it was just *GAY* porn!” doesn’t earn you a reprieve.
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It’s all fun and games until someone tries to text “autocorrect”
It’s all fun and games until someone tries to text “autocorrect” but the autocorrect feature changes the word to “autofellate.” Then it’s just fucking hysterical.
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There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob,
There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob, but I’d argue that the one your buddy gets from your sister while you’re waiting in the next room isn’t all that great for YOU.
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I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I should probably be able to tell the difference between fucking and acupuncture.
