I had to break up with my neurosurgeon girlfriend. She was messing with my head.
Tone: light-hearted
Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
The Sax
I really want to break up with my jazz musician girlfriend, but I can’t.
The sax is too good.
-
Cold Calls
Someone just called my phone and sneezed, coughed, and then hung up.
I’m getting sick of these cold calls.
-
Eclipse Colander
I was told I could look at the eclipse through a colander.
I tried it, but it strained my eyes.
-
Can You Take Our Picture? Move a Little to Your Right… Perfect
couple: “can you take our picture?”
me: “sure. can you move a little to your right? a little more. perfect.”
-
Dr. B. Gee – Presumably Good at Helping People Stay Alive
PRESUMABLY GOOD AT HELPING PEOPLE STAY ALIVE
Dr. B. Gee.
-
That Heat Is Brutal at Night – State of My Bed This Morning
That heat is brutal at night ffs, state of my bed this morning
-
My Fish Is Very Dry – We Had to Take Him Out of the Water – Smart
john @mrjohndarby
me: my fish is very dry
waiter: yes, we had to take him out of the water
me: smart
