The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates my eccentricities, like using exactly 2.5 tablespoons of lube, and that it has to be applied clockwise to both my cock and her sphincter, once before and once midway through. Yep, I’m *very* anal about anal.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the
Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the same thing as at a traffic light. Blue balls seem universal, though.
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When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning
When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning green, I started to panic. Then I realized I’d mistakenly purchased “Shrek” condoms.
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I’m so cool I knew William Shatner when he was still William
I’m so cool I knew William Shatner when he was still William Shittingner.
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“This here.” “What is some bullshit?” “Can you be more
“This here.” “What is some bullshit?” “Can you be more specific?” “What is some bullshit, right here?” “Correct!” – Ghetto Jeopardy
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My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of
My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of weight to my theories that shrubs are just dog magazines.
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“You CAN Go Fuck Yourself!” – AutoerotiCon 2014 Seminar
“You CAN Go Fuck Yourself!” – AutoerotiCon 2014 Seminar
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The new guy I’m dating is going to be so happy about his
The new guy I’m dating is going to be so happy about his birthday present. It was a no-brainer, though, getting him water skis, since he he’s been telling me for weeks he’s into watersports.
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None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my vestigial tail because now they think I’m a demon.
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Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex:
Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex: using “cum” as a verb is acceptable, whereas using it as a noun is not.
