A wedding photographer was today tragically crushed by a 200lb wheel of cheese that fell off the catering truck.
The guests all tried to warn him.
Delivery Style: narrative
Narrative joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Cheese Wheel Tragedy: A Wedding Day Disaster
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The Square Dance
Jimmy and Johnny attend a square dance during the depression. Johnny an otherwise handsome young man had lost an eye in a farming accident. Johnny’s father not having the money to purchase a glass eye, carved a prosthetic eye from wood. Johnny was quite self conscious because of his missing eye.
Soon after arriving at the dance, Johnny tells Jimmy he believes no girl will dance with him. Jimmy tells him he just has to pick the right girl, and suggests Betty who has a harelip but is a very nice girl, whom has never been asked to dance.
Johnny builds his courage, approaches Betty, and asks, “Betty, wouldn’t you like to dance?”
Betty delighted to finally have been asked exclaims, “Wouldn’t I, Wouldn’t I?”
Johnny shoves Betty aside and shouts, “Harelip, harelip, harelip!”.
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Listening: The Key to Conversation Survival!
My wife screamed: ‘You haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?’
What a weird way to start a conversation! -
Changing a flat tire
A guy’s on the side of the highway changing a flat.
A patrol car pulls up. The officer steps out and says, “Sir, we received a report of an emergency…”Before he can finish, another cruiser comes flying up from behind, speeding in the same direction. It slams on the brakes and skids in behind the first car. The second officer jumps out, a little out of breath. He takes one look around and says, “Oh… I thought…”
Suddenly, from the opposite side of the highway, a third cruiser whips a U-turn across the median, sirens blaring, and screeches to a stop.
The third officer jumps out and runs up. “Are there any left?”
The first two silently point at the spare tire. The third officer squints at it.
“We really need better descriptions from dispatch, this is not what I would call a donut emergency”
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Cheese Wheel Tragedy: A Photographer’s Last Shot
A wedding photographer was today tragically crushed by a 200lb wheel of cheese that fell off the catering truck.
The guests all tried to warn him…
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Potential vs Reality
A son tells his father he has a homework assignment due, and he can’t figure out how to complete it. The task is to explain the difference between theory and reality.
The father instructs him: “Go ask your mom if she would have sex with a stranger for $1,000,000.”
The mom says yes.
Then the father tells him to ask his sister the same question.
She also says yes.
The father says, “There. You figured out the assignment. In theory, we live with two millionaires. In reality, we live with two sluts.”
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Pregnant while in a coma
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months…
The woman asked the doctor about her baby.Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And your brother named them for you.
Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He’s an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Ohh, that’s actually a nice name. What about the boy?
Doctor: ….Denephew.
