Delivery Style: narrative
Narrative joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Hammering Home the Ethics
After attending ethics training, Bob went up to his boss.
“Boss,” he said, “that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals.”
The boss replied, “But Bob, this is an accepted practice, and many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.”
Bob responded, “Yeah, but we make hammers!”
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Comfort in Comedy: The Elderly’s Wit
An elderly Jewish man is walking down the street when he sudden slips and falls.
People rush to help him, with one passer by rolling up his own coat to cradle the elderly Jewish man’s head.“Sir,” the man says. “We’re calling an ambulance. Are you comfortable?”
The elderly Jewish man gives a weak shrug and says: “Eh. I make a living.”
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Zipped Up and Trucked Down!
I forgot to zip my pants today, so a lady politely told me, “Sir, your garage is open.”
I zipped them up and asked, “Did you see my monster truck parked inside?”
The lady smiled and said, “No, just one small Toyota with two flat tires…”
I’m still crying.
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Sell Drugs or Sell Logic: The Choice!
Two drug dealers are given a chance by a judge to avoid prison…
The judge tells them, “You guys don’t look like hardened criminals. I’ll give you a deal: I’m releasing you for 24 hours. Your job is to go out and convince as many people as possible to quit using drugs. If you’re successful, I’ll drop the charges. Come back tomorrow and report your numbers.”The next day, the first guy says, “Your Honor, I got 14 people to quit! I drew two circles: a big one and a tiny one. I told them the big one was their brain before drugs, and the tiny one was their brain after drugs.”
The judge is impressed. He turns to the second guy. “And you?”
“I got 165 people to quit, sir!”
The judge is stunned. “165?! Did you use the same ‘brain’ circles?”
“Sort of,” the guy says. “I pointed to the tiny circle and said, ‘Listen up, boys… this is what your asshole looks like before you go to prison.’”
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Vices and Life: A Deadly Decision
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain-smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, “If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die.”
The men left the doctor’s office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar.
The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself! . His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey.
No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.
His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor’s words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.
The homosexual looked at the chain-smoker and said,
“You know if you bend over to pick that up, we’re both dead!”
