Thanks to my dog’s coprophagia, today I encountered the most foul, vile substance ever known: dog-poop vomit. As disgusting as it was to clean up, there’s a bright side: I’m a shoe-in to get filthy Rumination of the day!
Delivery Style: observational
Observational joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer
Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer table: mundane. A three-hole punch on an S&M; buffet table: nasty.
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I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out would be how not to cum on my own face when I masturbate.
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Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they
Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they run a business like everyone, but I still think hookers should at least give premature ejaculators a discount.
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I love skiing. Time in the mountains, fresh snow everywhere, and
I love skiing. Time in the mountains, fresh snow everywhere, and rock hard nipples on every hot woman within sight.
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(Amy Peterson) You can assume the cantina’s hot sauce is going
(Amy Peterson) You can assume the cantina’s hot sauce is going to do a number on your sphincter when you hear Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” playing in the waiting area.
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There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob,
There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob, but I’d argue that the one your buddy gets from your sister while you’re waiting in the next room isn’t all that great for YOU.
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If zombies survived by eating genitalia instead of brains, I’ll
If zombies survived by eating genitalia instead of brains, I’ll bet there would be more than a few living guys who, when faced with an imminent attack, would consider it, then say, “What the hell…”
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The thing I find so disgusting about airport bathrooms is you
The thing I find so disgusting about airport bathrooms is you have no idea how many people have smeared a sheen of their semen on the toilet seat before you did.
