Tone: relatable

Relatable humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Billy Ray and the Bottom Deodorant

    Billy Ray walks into Walgreens and asks the pharmacist for some “Bottom deodorant” for his bottom.

    “Sorry, we don’t sell bottom deodorant,” the pharmacist replies, trying to keep from laughing.

    “Yeah but I always buy it here,” Billy Ray says. “I bought one last month. My wife gets hers from here too!”

    Curious, the pharmacist suggests, “Look, I don’t know what y’all bought before, but maybe you can bring in the empty one of what y’all had next time you come in.”

    “Sure thing,” Billy Ray says. “I’ll bring it in tomorrow.”

    The next day, Billy Ray walks into Walgreens again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick.

    “This is just a normal deodorant,” the man tells Billy Ray. “To use under your arms.”

    “Oh no it is not,” Billy Ray answers. “Look here where it says: TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.”

  • Bring Your Child to Work Day

    I took my eight-year-old girl to the office with me on Bring Your Child to Work Day.

    As we walked around the office, she starting crying, so I asked her what was wrong.

    As my colleagues gathered round, she sobbed: “But Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?”

  • The Son and the Lawn Mower

    My son came up to me this morning and asked, “Dad, can I borrow your new lawn mower to make some extra money?”

    And honestly?

    I got emotional for a second.

    I thought, “Look at this kid… hardworking… entrepreneurial… not afraid to hustle.”

    So I proudly handed him the keys.

    The next day I asked, “So, how much did you make?”

    He grinned and said, “$300.”

    I nearly teared up. “That’s my boy.”

    Then I paused.

    “Wait… where’s the mower?”

    He shrugged and said, “I sold it.”

  • The Toothbrush in the Toilet

    My 4-year-old grandson came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.

    So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.

    He stood there thinking for a moment… then ran to my bathroom and came back with my toothbrush.

    He held it up with a charming little smile and said, “We better throw this one out too… ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.”

  • The Grocery Store Con

    I went to the grocery store for some bread, milk, bacon, eggs, and I ended up getting a couple things that were on sale because apparently I now get excited about discounts.

    The store was packed and the self checkout lane was down to one machine. Luckily there was a spot behind this little old Asian lady with a cart piled dangerously high with groceries. We started making small talk while we waited.

    Out of nowhere she smiled at me and said, “You look just like my son.”

    I laughed because… I’m very obviously not Asian.

    She laughed too and said, “Still, it would make me very happy if you said ‘Bye Mom’ to me when I leave.”

    Honestly, she reminded me of somebody’s sweet grandma, so I figured why not. It costs me nothing to be nice.

    A few minutes later she finished paying, waved at me, and started heading toward the door.

    So I smiled and called out, “Bye Mom!”

    She turned around grinning and yelled back, “Bye son!”

    A couple people in the line beside us smiled. One cashier even said, “Aww.”

    Then it was my turn.

    The cashier started scanning my stuff. Bread. Milk. Bacon. Eggs. A frozen pizza I absolutely did not need. Total seemed to be climbing pretty fast, but groceries are expensive now so I didn’t think much of it.

    Finally the cashier looked at me and said, “Okay, your total is $487.63.”

    I nearly had a heart attack.

    I said, “WHAT? For this?”

    The cashier looked confused and said, “Well… your mother said you’d be paying for her groceries too.”

  • My First Day as a Cab Driver

    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question…

    The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.

    For a second, everything was quiet in the cab.

    Then the driver said, “Look, mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!”

    The passenger apologised and said, “I didn’t realise that a little tap would scare you so much.”

    The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.”