If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s intolerance.
Tone: Playful
Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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My Possessions No Longer Possess Me
My possessions no longer possess me. They sold me to a new owner last week.
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I Keep Wanting to Go to Oklahoma
I keep wanting to go to Oklahoma, but I’m terrified the evil storm chasers from the movie Twister might still be there.
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How Can I Help Others?
How can I help others unless I first stop them from helping themselves?
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Justice Is Blind
It’s good that justice is blind. I just wish she had a better sense of smell.
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If Jesus Were Born Today
If Jesus were born today, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration would require a five-point safety harness in the manger.
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I Was Gonna Plan a Vacation in Great Britain
I was gonna plan a vacation in Great Britain, but money’s a little tight, so Pretty Good Britain it is.
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Waldo’s Therapist
“Maybe what you need to be asking yourself is, ‘Who’s Waldo?’” Waldo’s therapist.
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In Honor of the Olympics
In honor of the Olympics, instead of spending the weekend napping, I will be spending the weekend marathon napping.
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Reasons for Fist-Pumping “YES!”
Reasons for fist-pumping “YES!”
Before kids: Open bar.
After kids: Other child’s mom volunteers to drive both ways.
