Tone: Playful

Playful humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Meeting the Parents and the Dog Named Rover

    A young man visits his girlfriend’s house and meets her parents for the first time. He feels a massive urge to pass gas, so he lets a small, quiet one out. The father immediately yells, “Rover!”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Thinking the dog took the blame, the man feels bold and lets out a second, louder rip. The father glares and shouts again, “ROVER!”

    Encouraged that his secret is safe, the man lets loose a massive, loud, stinky blast.

    The father yells, “ROVER, GET OUTTA THERE BEFORE HE SHITS ALL OVER YOU!”

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  • Garbage Can, Not Garbage Cannot

    Garbage Can, Not Garbage Cannot

    JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE TRASH DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T DO GREAT THINGS.

    IT IS CALLED GARBAGE CAN, NOT GARBAGE CANNOT.

  • My Psalms Are Sweaty

    My Psalms Are Sweaty

    My psalms are sweaty
    knees weak, cross is heavy

    last supper is ready
    it’s lord’s spaghetti

  • I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.

    I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.

  • Why don’t boxers have sex the night before their match?

    Why don’t boxers have sex the night before their match? Because they hate each other.

  • A friend named his dog 5 miles

    A friend of mine named his dog “5 miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles.

    But today he ran over 5 miles.

  • Doctors Orders Mean Burger King

    My doctor just told me that I need to start eating at Burger King.

    Well, he really said that I should not have McDonalds anymore, but I know what he means.

  • Global Warming Icebreaker

    If you are meeting a new group of people and don’t know what to talk about, try mentioning Global Warming.

    It’s a huge Icebreaker.

  • Shortening Robert to Dick

    My friend hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Robert.

  • The Rolls Royce Key Fob Trick

    Two guys are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, “Every time I see you in here you walk out with a different girl. What’s your secret?”

    The first guy replies, “It’s really easy. As soon as I walk into the bar, I casually toss my Rolls Royce keys onto the bar and the gals practically throw themselves at me.”

    The second says, “Wow, you’ve got a Rolls Royce?”

    The first guy replies, “No, I’m just as poor as you. I bought this Rolls Royce key fob on Amazon for $30 and the ladies are none the wiser.”

    So, the other guy goes on Amazon and buys the exact same key fob. He then goes to various bars with no luck whatsoever.

    A few weeks later, he runs into the guy again. He tells him, “Your key fob trick is bogus, I went to at least 20 bars, no lady looked at me twice, please take this bad luck charm off my hands.”

    The first guy says, “Maybe it would work better if you took off your bicycle helmet first!”

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